hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
