what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize