Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
