we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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