I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
