So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
