I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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