he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
