I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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