i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
