i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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