Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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