I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
