When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
