his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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