Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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