so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
