Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
