you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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