I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
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