when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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