Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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