I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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