I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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