Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
