piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Randomize
