it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
