I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
