I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize