So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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