My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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