what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
