It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
