thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
