So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
