wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize