ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The air was thick with penises
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
