girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
