history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
