areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Randomize
