So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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