I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
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