...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
