Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
