Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
