Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
