yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You can't just leave with hair like that
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
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