Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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