Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
