I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
