there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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