she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
