just tell him i said nine months
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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