You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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