I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
