No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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