belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
