i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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