Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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