It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
