she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
