wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
