Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
