He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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