why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize