Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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