There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
