think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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